


My End And New Beginning

by frostbite



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Break Up, Heartbreak, Horan - Freeform, Letters, Love, M/M, Narry - Freeform, No Smut, Sad, Styles - Freeform, idk why i wrote this, kiss, niall and harry - Freeform, well i do but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1315402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostbite/pseuds/frostbite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	My End And New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> yay thanks for reading im also on tumblr at narryfrost !

_“to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed.”_

The thing about love, Harry knows, fucking sucks. 

It ends quickly, with a letter that he's written a million times. Never quite sure how to word it. 

_You deserve better._

And that's how it ends, he guesses. With three words on a piece of paper and Niall in the bed next to him, sleeping soundly. He wants to leave, disappear without a trace of him ever exsisting-- hoping that maybe, just maybe it would hurt less. But he can't do that, because for the past months they've been inseparable, and Harry knows, he fucking knows it going to hurt and he can't help but silence the sob that shakes through his body and he freezes when Niall moans in his sleep a bit, rolls over and adjusts his head against his pillow hugging the covers against his body. 

That's when the tears fall, and Harry bites into his lip hard, and slowly slides out from the bed and rushes from their room. He makes it to the bathroom before he falls to the ground shaking with sobs that pour from his mouth. Outside the night sky glistens with stars, the moonlight pours through the windows as Harry pathetically cries into his hands. And he wants to feel sorry for himself, but he can't because its his fault, its all his fucking fault. 

_You deserve better._

The words blur together, becoming a pain through his whole body, falling quickly into a numb state and god-- _fuck_ , he can't do this. He can't, and he's so broken and just so fucking clueless to what he's going to do. And all he can imagine is Niall gripping the paper he'll pathetically leave on the desk, with all his stuff gone because he doesn't even have the decency to say a proper goodbye. That's the saddest part of all, he thinks. How Niall will react to his selfish actions, will he hate him? Probably. 

And that's when it really ends, he thinks. So he stands up and wipes his eyes and takes a deep breathe and doesn't dare take a look at himself in the mirror. The walk to the room, his legs feel like jello and he swears he'll fall over at any time, but he doesn't and grabs some clothes and thrusts them into a carry on, holding his breath as he grabs his beanie and pulls it over his curls and slowly zips up his bag and looks over his shoulder once at Niall laying in the center of their bed, cuddled with blankets and sighing in his sleep. 

_He deserves better._

And he's right, Niall deserves someone whose positive and can give him everything he wants and needs. He needs someone who can make his entire world light up by just walking into a room, and sadly, Harry isn't that. He thinks so at least. 

So he stands up and watches him sleep some more, wondering if he'll smell Harry's pillow when he gets sad or misses him. But he deserves better, and he doesn't know what to do because he knows he's not the one, he's not for him, he isn't for anyone. It's simple, Harry thinks, once he leaves everything will be okay and Niall will finally be happy-- find someone who makes his heart skip a beat-- _or three._ Find someone who he's proud to show off, and can love him like he deserves. 

Because when reality hits, he knows Niall doesn't deserve someone who battles to get out of bed every morning, or someone who hates themselves so fucking much they can't eat or sleep for days at a time. He doesn't deserve someone so fucking pathetic he sits at the bottom of the shower and cries into their hands because they're so fucking sad and they don't know why. Niall deserves that much, he knows he does. 

So when he pulls his bag over his shoulder and creeps towards the bed and leans over and presses a kiss to his temple, whispering a quick "I love you, i'm so fucking sorry, I love you so much." Before he leaves, pulling the door shut behind him. And the tears start falling down his rosy cheeks by the time he reaches the front yard, but he keeps walking until their house is out of sight, and the note is sat next to him on the bedside table. But that's okay, he thinks, _eventually it will be._


End file.
